London Calling

I often look at the world and have a lot of strong opinions about what’s going on. Unlike most people, I don’t feel the need to jump on social media and shout about how I feel when someone leaves their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot instead of the cart pen. No, I just judge silently. But there’s one thing I can’t stay quiet about anymore: we have way too many “national ___ days.”

Now, I’m all for “National Hot Dog Day” or “National Pizza Day,” but whoever came up with “Take Your Kid to Work Day”… well, I’d like to have a word with you, sir.

And if you know how I feel about people bringing their own kids to work, you can imagine how much stronger my feelings are when it’s not even your kid. That’s exactly what’s happening with Tommy (Josh Duhamel). After a mistake at his last job, Tommy has fled to L.A. to make a living. The problem is, Tommy is a hitman — and he accidentally killed the cousin of Freddy Darby’s (Aidan Gillen) wife. Freddy didn’t take kindly to that.

Now in L.A., Tommy works for Benson (Rick Hoffman), a man with a family problem of his own. Conveniently, Benson and Tommy’s issues are about to overlap. Benson offers to help Tommy find a way home — but only if Tommy agrees to train his son Julian (Jeremy Ray Taylor), who’s more interested in LARPing than he is in the family business. Tommy reluctantly agrees, but quickly realizes Julian is hopeless as a hitman. Still, he starts to take a shine to him, and that bond comes into play once things get messy — and Julian’s unlikely skills may end up saving the day.

Written by Omer Levin Menekse, Quinn Wolfe, and Allan Ungar, London Calling is a buddy comedy that throws every genre trope at the wall, hoping some of it sticks. The plot is straightforward, and to its credit, it never tries to be more than what it promises. At its core, this is a story about two men searching for approval, wrapped in a mix of comedy, action, and a touch of heart.

Unfortunately, London Calling tries to do too much and ultimately lands a little below average line of films like this. There are fun moments here, most of them are thanks to Duhamel, who still shows he’s got the chops. Where the film falters is with his screen partner, Jeremy Ray Taylor. The chemistry between the two lands mostly flat. I get that the mismatched pairing is supposed to be the appeal, but here, it just doesn’t click. That lack of spark is what really holds London Calling back — more than the recycled jokes, which are easier to forgive.

As a fan of buddy comedies, I had high hopes, but between the lack of chemistry and a bloated runtime, it’s hard to want to pick up this call.